I forgot someone's birthday — what should I do?

Forgetting someone's birthday is recoverable. Trying to cover it up is what damages the relationship. The repair is straightforward: acknowledge, apologise briefly, and gift well — even if late.

Step one: send a message the moment you realise. 'I am so sorry — I completely missed your birthday yesterday/last week. No excuse, but I'm going to make it up to you properly.' Don't over-explain or make excuses; the brevity is the point.

Step two: give a real gift, not a panic gift. Take an extra few days to choose something that actually suits them. A late, considered gift signals 'I'm taking this seriously now'. A same-day petrol-station bouquet signals the opposite.

Step three: include a written note (not just a text). The handwritten card carries the apology, the gift carries the repair. Both are needed.

If you've forgotten the birthday of a partner, parent, or someone you really should have remembered, escalate the gift. An experience together — dinner you're booking and paying for, a planned weekend, a half-day they don't have to organise — does the work that an object can't.

Don't pretend you remembered. People always know. Owning the miss is the whole repair.